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  • Writer's pictureLMSpang

A Whisper in our Hearts: Part One of our Miracle Home Story

Updated: Feb 20, 2023

Look at those faces. Look at that shirt! Busta, if you ever read this, we love you, but I am glad those shirts are no longer with us. Gosh, this picture makes me smile. This could be any weekend in 2008, standing in front of a completed Homes of Hope house. We were married for two years at this point and were leading the YWAM Ensenada campus. Of course, part of the reason I smile is looking at those baby faces, but I also feel the joy of knowing what came next. You see, those years leading the campus in Ensenada were some of the loneliest in my life. I was incredibly insecure. My inner voice was very critical. The outside voices seemed to drip with disappointment as the expectations they had for me were not met. I was in over my head. To be quite frank with you, those outside voices were not wrong. I was a bad leader because the voice of insecurity was so much louder than anything else. I didn't know who or how to ask for help.

Today though, I smile. I am truly joyful looking back at how God rescued me from that season of deep loneliness. He set me on a path that I am sure I am still on, of growth, discovery, and becoming the best human I can be, the human He created me to be. Yet it was in that season of deep inner turmoil that God spoke to us about our future.

Between 2008 and 2011, God planted seeds of understanding that our investment into Baja Norte, Mexico, was to be lifelong. I remember it became real when deep in my heart I was complaining that I was still planted in the same location God first called me to missions while it seemed everyone else was being called into worldwide adventures. One of our friends, Kenny Peavy, was speaking in a Discipleship Training School I was staffing. He pulled me aside during a class break and shared with me that God gave him a picture of me standing with one foot in Mexico and one foot out the door. How could God trust me with more if I was longing to be elsewhere?

It wasn't only about being Missionary-lifers. Both Kody and I had the impression God wanted to provide us with a home to live in. We started walking the streets around the Ensenada campus looking for homes for sale. I surrendered to God's will in my life, whatever it was. I wanted to be a two-feet, all-in person. Then, we were suddenly yanked from Ensenada and replanted in Tijuana. Was God wrong? Nope. More likely we had heard wrong. It wasn't until almost 10 years later that we were able to revisit that whisper in our hearts. His words never changed, we just hadn't received the details yet.

The greatest thing I want any reader to hear from this unfolding story is how wonderful God's faithfulness is. Our miracle home did not come to be because Kody and I are such incredible disciples of Jesus. This is the story of how I screwed up a lot, but God was faithful and patient despite my involvement. The beginning of this story is God whispering a dream into our hearts. He didn't wait until I had my act together, thank God! We would still be waiting. He leaned down and spoke a dream into my heart when I was my most broken, when I couldn't see straight, and when I barely wanted to be obedient to His calling in my life. This is the story of how he grew my faith from significantly less than the size of a mustard seed to being house-sized.


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